3.15.2007
i don't know how to start this blog. and ironically, i just did.
i have been a self-proclaimed mess for the past month. the giant "piss off" sign stamped on my forehead sears itself deeper and deeper into my skin. my veins feel as though the blood has achieved the density of lead, but i still bleed easily. and the heaviness and emptiness i feel are only two of the emotions that juxtapose one another. i shouldn't be feeling so many things at once. its overwhelming and makes it very difficult to sort myself out.
perhaps i have been searching for answers in all the wrong places. i look in my black coffee every morning and see my reflection. it never changes. but i look and drink anyways, because i think that it makes me feel better. i enjoy coffee too much to get rid of it, but i don't think it holds any answers for me. unfortunately. but what the hell, i'll just keep drinking it anyways. bring on the caffiene!
i have never wanted to leave somewhere so badly. i have never felt so much anger towards a place in my life. well, maybe almost never. elementary school was awful, but this is a different, hopefully more mature anger. i am so sick of here. i won't elaborate much, in fear of saying something i may regret. but my censors have sort of turned off lately, and i have been saying and showing how genuinely mad and confused i am.
i want answers. i want answers so much that it hurts.
i have been a self-proclaimed mess for the past month. the giant "piss off" sign stamped on my forehead sears itself deeper and deeper into my skin. my veins feel as though the blood has achieved the density of lead, but i still bleed easily. and the heaviness and emptiness i feel are only two of the emotions that juxtapose one another. i shouldn't be feeling so many things at once. its overwhelming and makes it very difficult to sort myself out.
perhaps i have been searching for answers in all the wrong places. i look in my black coffee every morning and see my reflection. it never changes. but i look and drink anyways, because i think that it makes me feel better. i enjoy coffee too much to get rid of it, but i don't think it holds any answers for me. unfortunately. but what the hell, i'll just keep drinking it anyways. bring on the caffiene!
i have never wanted to leave somewhere so badly. i have never felt so much anger towards a place in my life. well, maybe almost never. elementary school was awful, but this is a different, hopefully more mature anger. i am so sick of here. i won't elaborate much, in fear of saying something i may regret. but my censors have sort of turned off lately, and i have been saying and showing how genuinely mad and confused i am.
i want answers. i want answers so much that it hurts.
8)
angie
escaped @
5:50:00 PM
