my thoughts were so loud...

2007-05-01T20:18:00.000-05:00

my focus is sheer. it isn't even a tangible concept any more. it is so transparent i can see into the next thousand things i need to think about in my life (there would be no hope of making accenting a dress with this fabric, although, it can swirl and twirl and shrink and paint the sky when the wind catches it). i can hardly think of the words to write. it has taken me about 10 minutes to produce this paragraph.

i'm fighting a few battles right now, but one of the biggest battles is my battle with words. i don't know what to say anymore or how to express myself. the casualties of this battle bleed onto other battle fields. i have to write a paper....speak in italian....tell people what is going on....read economics tests...order my turkeywrapnocheeselettucetomatohoneymustdard and i'll take skim milk and fruit for sides. i used to have a good relationship with words and language. it turns out to be tougher for me than i thought. that seems to be the trend in my life right now. things are hard. and i'm discouraged. and disappointment floods my thoughts faster than rain water floods campus.

i want to sit in a caribou coffee, sip my black coffee, eat my reduced fat mountain berry muffin, read "chuck klosterman iv" and "the fountainhead" at my own leisure, and enjoy life. without feeling guilt. and why shouldn't i? why can't i?

i'm struggling to find purpose in myself/the things i enjoy.

2007-03-31T18:45:00.000-05:00

fragile.

on an online dictionary it is described as anything that can be easily shattered or something delicate. on the other end of the spectrum, it is described as something lacking substance or flimsy even.

it is an interesting range to see. on one end you have something like an eggshell, so pure in sight and gentle to touch that it seems if you even say the word you may break the eggshell. on the other end, its critical. its weak in effect. a less desirable fragile. even so, saying "fragile" in both circumstances carries this huge weight, a gravitational field of its own.

i am fragile, whether i want to be or not. whether you choose to see it in me or not. whether i show it or not. i feel like words and actions affect me more than they used to and that is either a sign of me growing up or my fragility becoming more prominent. it is a deterioration of passion and excitement for certain things. i watch it crumble, helpless to the pieces that scatter away. i don't know what is right any more because it feels like each thing i do or say is wrong.

it is just a phase.
everyone goes through it.
you are just bored.
get over yourself.

2007-03-26T21:46:00.000-05:00

do you know one of the greatest sounds in the world? the flipping and flopping of sandals. its a promising sound. spring is on the way, warmth is anticipated. or, if you are conditioned as i am and live in a dorm, it means you are going to be or have just become clean. no matter how you look at it, flip flops flip flopping is a sweet melody.

lately i have been over-accepting of distractions. what i really need is to focus and sort things out. but when a new thought comes around, i embrace it and turn some of my attention towards it, while keeping some attention on what i "should" be doing. for instance, i need to study econ. but, i am extremely excited for pirates 3 to come out so i put pirates 1 in to watch while i study. and now, i have decided i need to blog so i have my econ book poised on the couch, johnny depp wandering into a mass of ex-crewmen, and my wonderful lappy glowing in front of me. and now i look to the side and contemplate re-reading a bloc party article that was simply marvelous.

welcome to the past 2 months of my life.

the problem is, my focus is being stretched waaaaaaay too thin. my mind is spinning and i can't reach a conclusion to save my life. i have been wondering so much about people (what they are doing, what they are thinking, what they are saying), schools (what i should be paying attention to, how significant distance is), music (what i really feel like listening to, why i can't retain info about it better), and numerous other things.

so...what now?

2007-03-15T17:50:00.000-05:00

i don't know how to start this blog. and ironically, i just did.

i have been a self-proclaimed mess for the past month. the giant "piss off" sign stamped on my forehead sears itself deeper and deeper into my skin. my veins feel as though the blood has achieved the density of lead, but i still bleed easily. and the heaviness and emptiness i feel are only two of the emotions that juxtapose one another. i shouldn't be feeling so many things at once. its overwhelming and makes it very difficult to sort myself out.

perhaps i have been searching for answers in all the wrong places. i look in my black coffee every morning and see my reflection. it never changes. but i look and drink anyways, because i think that it makes me feel better. i enjoy coffee too much to get rid of it, but i don't think it holds any answers for me. unfortunately. but what the hell, i'll just keep drinking it anyways. bring on the caffiene!

i have never wanted to leave somewhere so badly. i have never felt so much anger towards a place in my life. well, maybe almost never. elementary school was awful, but this is a different, hopefully more mature anger. i am so sick of here. i won't elaborate much, in fear of saying something i may regret. but my censors have sort of turned off lately, and i have been saying and showing how genuinely mad and confused i am.

i want answers. i want answers so much that it hurts.

2007-02-04T13:29:00.000-06:00

i reek of coffee. it may be because my caffiene intake has increased dramatically and i now have an unbalanced amount of coffee in my bloodstream and potentially pores. or it could be that i just spent two hours in a coffee shop and the face-numbing gusts of air couldn't blow the scent off of me. or it could be a combo of the two. either way, i am perfumed with the scent of java.

i have to keep re-centering myself. i get on track and then sort of fall off the beaten path. and the road that should be less travelled is slowly becoming paved. and my journal bleeds with black ink from those fabulous pilot g-2 07 pens.

"...i want to be expressive without wearing my emotions on my sleeve. i want to be confidant but humble. i want to prove myself to myself and the world without needing to prove anything at all. i want a pair of red chucks and some sexy stillhettos. i want to drink as much coffee as i want without freaking out my central nervous system. i want to be cool without caring what other people think of me. i want to be unique without knowing it or trying too hard. because then, what's the point?"

all that i keep thinking througout this whole flight is it could take me my whole damn life to make this right. this splintered mast i'm holding won't save me long, because i know fine well that what i did was wrong.

...and i don't kow where to look. my words just break and melt...

2007-01-23T10:55:00.000-06:00

its snowing again. every thought being thought is floating from above and collecting on the ground, waiting to either be melted, flattened, looked at, or molded into something. i look at the white ground and think, "wow, look at all those ideas. all that potential that is just being looked at, like i am now. how can i tap into those new thoughts and do something about it? i'm sick of being a passive hypocrite." there's just something about snow...as lame as it sounds, and yes you can accuse me of quoting gilmore girls but i am in full concurrence with this statement and its truly coming from my own mouth, snow is magical. people say they hate snow and winter, but i don't think a person can honestly say they haven't felt something wonderful when it snows. those first flakes, the ones that frost your clothes and hair, there is something to those. its just...amazing.

today marks the end of my 3 day coffee sabbatical and my first day of silence, seeing as the giant white spots that decorated the back of my throat like a giant canvas (nice picture, i know. i apologize. i could delve deeper, but i will save you the anguish) are disappearing and taking my voice with them. on the plus side, i don't feel like i'm going to die any more and have conditioned myself to almost not be afraid of swallowing. and i vow to eat more than 500 calories today.

i have become a collection of habits. i have a habit of walking slightly pidgeoned-toed and not in a straight line. i have a habit of drinking coffee everyday. i have a habit of eating a disgusting amount of turkey wraps and/or sandwiches every week. i have a habit of ignoring the most important topics of a lecture. i have a habit of finding something wrong with everything i do. i have a habit of wearing my beloved checkered shoes when it is most inappropriate. i have a habit of being seriously motivated, but not motivated enough to do the little things. i have a habit of being standoffish. i have a habit of looking like i'm listening.

i cannot admit to being proud of some of my habits and i cannot admit i am pleased to see i have become a collection of them. i worry if i have become to mundane and structured. i fear being bored and boring and i fear that you will dismiss me because i have become just that.

2006-12-31T13:55:00.000-06:00

(Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth. No you don't know what happened
And you never will if You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall...)

this week has been a difficult one, for reasons i cannot comprehend nor communicate. i went and sat in a coffee shop today, completely overstaying my welcome. i saw the breakfast and lunch crowd, and the table just to my left had 3 different groups of tenants, all which i think were afraid i was writing nasty things about them in my journal. i must have had a giant "ef you" sign stamped on my forehead or glowing above myself. perhaps it was scrawled on the edge of the table. anyways, i got some strange looks. and you know what, that's probably what i was feeling. this morning was filled of figuring things out and i sort of just needed to shut everyone out. not that sitting in the back of the shop with my back facing the majority of the world wasn't enough of a hint already.

(You've not heard a single word I have said...Oh, my God)

i think i have inadvertently stopped *listening*. to a lot of things. people. television. just things in general. i am not really sure what i pay attention to any more. i guess i do listen to music, but that's kind of an always thing. i've expressed more of an interest in writing/telling than actually listening. ummmm...yeah.

(It seems I've stepped over lines You've drawn again and again, But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out. Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride)

pardon my lack of a conclusion, as i have been feeling a little inconclusive as of la

2006-12-08T09:56:00.000-06:00

i am more motivated to write now more than ever at this exact moment in time. the one flaw is that i am motivated to write anything except what needs to be written. that's like how i have things i want to say, yet none of it really needs to be said. or should be said. or maybe they should be said and i am unwilling to say said sayings.

still with me? i understand if you pick a new internet distraction, just know it might cause me a little sadness. not really. or maybe it will. dependning if i know or not.

see? this willingness to write anything but my paper.

i used to wish i was a completely laid-back person and didn't have a care in the world. i have, in fact, become more laid-back, but i think i sometimes flirt with the apathetic side of being cool with stuff. note to self: speak my mind. or perhaps not, depending on the statements presented in the first paragraph.

gah! i just reread what i wrote. what am i thinking?! if i only knew.

i'm almost done with my first semester at college. it flew by. seriously, it feels like yesterday i was playing waterball in the pool trying to escape the heat of the fourth floor of the freshmen dorms. now, i sit in the room watching movies and sipping faux-bucks waiting for glorious snow to make the arctic chills a little more bareable. anyways, this is my little shout out to like, everyone i have encountered in the past few months. you are fantastic.

to sum up my blog: a garden toasts over glistening parrots while singing the winds of my life.

2006-11-13T10:50:00.000-06:00

if someone were to invest in me regarding my business education, a large percentage of the assets would probably be liabilities. it would be a risk to invest, but i realize i need some more support. should i issue more stocks? more people would expect more out of me...perhaps issue more bonds. apparently i end up saving money? no, i think i should issue more stocks, diversify my owner's equity and gain more support. and now to create the financial statement...

yes, you are correct. the preceding paragraph is indeed a cry for help. the business world is squishing me already and i haven't even officially entered the business world yet. economics is just plain awful and accounting...well, accounting is interesting. today i created a study aid to help me: accounting alan. he's basically a person i draw all over my accounting notes that illustrates what i see in class and perhaps not exactly what i should know. problematic? potentially. i can't even get a job for break. seriously, a certain large bookstore really needs to give me a call back because i would LOVE to work there. they just don't seem to realize this. bah.

umm, in other news...my schedule for next semester is in tact and i have an english class FINALLY. huzzah!! i can hardly contain myself. i am so ready to have a class i will truly love. i can already tell. happiness abounds.

my journey to finding purpose and direction continues. i am not so sure about a lot of things right now. and i'm even less sure of what to do about that.

2006-10-21T15:23:00.000-05:00

what to say? what to say? as if i could ever say what i really wanted to...my mind can never seem to find the words. my thoughts are so loud...

what do i want to say? what do you want to hear? does it matter?

my mind has been on warp-speed this week and not working efficiently or coherently even. its like one of those art projects where the paper spins and then you squirt paint onto it and it makes a cool swirling picture. one color never seems to suffice, so you put on another...then another....and another. it looks fantastic and random at the end and there is a complete lack of organization. yep, that's my brain. i keep tapping into strange areas of it that seem to only be accessible when i feel a certain way or if it is a certain time of day. are all of a person's ideas already thought and when you think of an idea you are just finally finding it in your brain and releasing it? now there's a weird concept...hmmm.

as opposed to telling you all of the stuff that's happened the past month, i'm going to write a series of words of thoughts i had or things i experienced, take what you will from it:
college. rain. flurries. squirrels. shock. separateness. caffiene. angst. literature. traveling. eyes. perception. socrates. citizenship. italy. haircut. frustration. elated. words. obsidian. yoshi. haiku. cryptic. wall.

you know, i'm not really sure if i achieved anything just then.

i'm in the process of creating my schedule for next semester. there are so many options! and then planning the times and potentially picking teachers...and feeling slightly ripped off because if i had brought in one more credit i would be able to register like a day earlier. not that i'm bitter or anything. today is a perfect saturday for homework. and coffee. it's nasty cold outside, so i'm sitting here doing homework and blogging and listening to music and taking caffiene to the bloodstream. and i love it. minus the homework thing...except its a lot of reading. i love reading. so it goes.

wow, so, weird blog.

2006-09-20T17:47:00.000-05:00

wow, so yeah. blog. a lot has happened in the past three weeks, which i'm sure was anticipated, but still. i like to think i have already begun to grow as a person and finally start figuring things out. if anything, i have had new experiences that have started to fill the empty voids in my journals and life journey.

i love college life, not gonna lie. seriously, i am not entirely sure how i survived high school. the schedule was so tight, and its a miracle i didn't suffocate. well, let me take that back. i was suffocating. slowly, but surely my little spark was fading and now it has been reignited. i feel like a valuable human being again. im finding a purpose. i think.

people are funny. they do funny things. smart people do stupid things. ignorant people sometimes say insightful things. nice people can be real asses. so it goes.

i finally finally FINALLY got my tv on the radio cd. and it is so amazing on multiple levels. i haven't gotten a chance to do the actual *listening yet*, but a few songs have stuck out. the horns in "i was a lover" are incredible. "province" sticks out as the single for the album, and "a method" has some fantastic lyrics as well as interesting background accompaniment (um, i can't spell. or think of real words).

have a good one.

2006-08-24T23:52:00.000-05:00

i'm in college!!! ahh! how crazy!! things haven't even really begun to set in yet. perhaps that has to do with the fact that classes don't start until monday or the fact that during all these orientation activities it has been a common consensus that we feel like we are in kindergarten again. making lines, name games, etc. but it's all fun...

i'm actually sort of ready for classes to start. the whole concept of homework is still not that appealing, but i want to see how my classes are and stuff.

i am still anxiously awaiting the release of tv on the radio's album "return to cookie mountain" on 9/12. an important date for everyone to remember, along with the following:
9/26-season premiere of gilmore girls!!!!!
10/4-LOST season premiere!!!
12/26-release date of switchfoot's new album!!! flippin' SWEET.

um, i haven't had a real cup of coffee yet, i just got the ok on my coffee maker. and on a little less positive note, there is not a caribou in near site. *sigh* i will miss it's homey ambiance and such. let's just say, that will be my second home when i come back home. there is, however, an interesting coffee shop right off campus that has yet to be checked out. but it looks very cool. i am way excited to see it.

its so HOT here. thank goodness for fans. and windows that open.

oy, with the poodles already.

2006-08-06T12:26:00.000-05:00

but your heart can't grieve.............all your dreams are over now
for your little dreams.......................and all your wings have fallen down

tell that to my musical hole in my heart because i won't be able to get tv on the radio's new album until september 12. i have never wanted to be in england so bad.

to hold me over, i have been watching this performance of "dreams" featuring tv on the radio, trent reznor from nine inch nails, and peter murphy of bauhaus. it is incredible.

2006-08-02T18:58:00.000-05:00

same old bloggy, just a new name. it was time for a change, updated to fit my ever changing mind and life. i credit the name to modest mouse, who truly captivated me from the moment i heard "the world at large", as mentioned in my previous entry.

i leave for college this month. actually, i move in three weeks from tomorrow. crazy.

i feel as if i don't move quickly, i'm going to get sucked into this massive....thing (ugh, for the lack of a better word). not quite a vortex or like, an ordinary hole, its more constricting than that. like each idle moment is gathering at my feet and slowly piling higher and higher. i need to be able to step out of this box i am waiting in before my trip to college or i think part of me will be left behind. a part of me that is crucial for my future endeavours at school. i think my biggest problem now is that my state of limbo has gotten my ability to step out of the box in a minor state of distress. now that i know what's wrong, hopefully i will make it out of the box before i head off to school.

on the (ironic, but) bright side, it stormed last night. it was amazing.

2006-08-01T15:19:00.000-05:00

it finally rained. i wish i could express my elation of standing outside quite dribblings of the sky. give me a good thunderstorm anyday, but it was nice to just be outside and enjoy the perfectness that is rain.

this summer has been good so far, but i can't help but feel a little destroyed too. maybe destroyed is too strong, but that is almost where i am at. i am looking forward to college, but don't really know what i want to do. i say i want an international business degree, but they people say "well, what are you going to do with that?". and then i'm back to square one. i don't know what i want/can/should do with that. this summer is slipping away. don't get me wrong, i have done a lot of things i really wanted to do. and finally being able to hang out with friends without stressing out about something in the back of my mind has been phenomenal. but a certain combination of uncertainty and unemployment has left me here. not knowing what i want. and penny-less as well. i have gained a new appreciation of my close friends though, and i can't imagine what i would do without them.

the summer isn't over though. i still have time to do a few things, scratch the surface of finding a purpose. why am i here? what the heck am i supposed to do?

i like songs about drifters-books about the same.
they both seem to make me feel a little less insane.
walked on off to another spot.
i still haven't gotten anywhere that i want.
did i want love? did i need to know?
why does it always feel like i'm caught in an undertow?

my thoughts were so loud i couldn't hear my mouth.

the world at large - modest mouse

2006-07-16T17:27:00.000-05:00

i have deprived my blog long enough. this poor thing, i have neglected it so. no more tho! this is where i put my foot down and become committed to being a semi-creative soul. behold, my first official step to getting out of my current state of limbo.

i feel a little lost, a little purposeless, and quite confused not gonna lie. did some college-type shopping this weekend, and i have decided it would have been easier if i had a style. i think that comes with defining one's self, but i apparently have a shorter definition figured out than i thought i had. so much for having myself figured out. when does that happen even? does it ever happen? i think i have found myself to be inconclusive, and therefore have figured myself out. mrah.

currently anxiously awaiting the release of t.v. on the radio's album "return to cookie mountain" in the united states, but it is as of yet m.i.a. which is slightly disheartening, but one of these days it will show up and all will be happy. strong recommendation to y'all to listen to them.

summer is pretty much half over, and i don't know what to think.

limbo
population: me and all my thoughts

2006-06-11T18:21:00.000-05:00

these past few weeks have been...an experience. a lot of hellos, a lot of goodbyes, and a lot of new feelings. graduation was outside and gorgeous and the senior party was pretty much amazing. i chugged an entire root beer through a straw in about 30 seconds (observe new feeling #1-complete disgust and nastiness of the stomach). i also hugged a lot of people. i'm not what one would call a "touchy feely" person, so that was interesting to experience. i almost felt like i was watching myself do this (new feeling #2-hugging is....tolerable. huh...imagine that). all of the open houses i have been attending have brought about relapses of new feeling #1, but they are a good time. i really like seeing all of my friends and such.

had college orientation. that was pretty awesome as well, met some cool people and registered for classes (bring on new feeling #3-my school friends from this year won't be there next year). but i am excited for college, its gonna be pretty sweet. =)

the last new feeling i will endeavor is the feeling of being slightly disconnected to myself. i'm not sure what i am doing or what i am supposed to be doing and it is a little scary. but at the same time, exciting. i don't know what all this means, but hopefully i will reconnect with myself over the summer. i just feel like i am watching myself in a new lens (wouldn't alme be proud). i just don't really know.

perhaps i should listen to mogwai again.

*cue plinking piano*

2006-05-31T23:45:00.000-05:00

i will not allow may to be a one post month! therefore, i present you with may's second blog.

my last day of high school is tomorrow. i am not sad. it is, however, interesting to hear everyone talk about the end of high school. a lot of people are apparently sad and i can't even begin to fathom how they can be sad. i have decided the sadness will strike in august, when i know i won't see my friends again for a while. i won't be the one crying at graduation and hugging every single senior in my sight. i like to believe i am not a bad person, just someone who is ready to move on. it seems like everything in life for the past 13 years have been leading up to this moment and i am ready. oh so ready.

i picked up my room a little bit today. i could hardly stand to look at it any more. i couldn't see my desk. or my floor. it is an amazing feat that i found my bed.

life will be better at 3:03 tomorrow. i can't imagine the feeling, but i bet it is super.

so let's cause a scene, clap our hands and stomp our feet...

2006-05-10T20:48:00.000-05:00

i truly am my sister's sister...only one post in april. and after reading her blog, it sort of made me reflect on the past year.

its weird how everyday you are a different person, never the same from one moment to the next. i never how i have changed until i look behind me and see how different i am from when i started school. i like to think i have opened up, tried new things, made a difference along the line, figured out what i really want to do. and no matter how cynical and perhaps bitter i have been(and probably will continue to be from time to time), this may have been my best school year since about third grade.

sad? maybe. do i have any regrets? yeah, a few. especially with telling people what i think. so many things i have been aching to say. but i wont dwell on it. if its meant to be, the time will come.

gosh, i have so many things i want to say.

"it is true i do not speak as well as i can think. but that is true of most people, as nearly as i can tell."

no questions to ponder this time, i have enough to wrap my mind around at this point.

2006-04-18T20:05:00.000-05:00

wow...so long, long time.

it's only tuesday night, and i can't wait for the week to be over. actually, i can't wait until june. i would be fine with missing all of april and may ('cept for prom). awfulness has been abundant and i feel so...meh...i can't describe it in real words. i just want for the stress and mediocrity to end.

i guess i don't have anything of value to say except to quote a song and leave my questions...perhaps not in that order.

questions:
37. who decided polyester was in style?
38. how do you make fabric?
39. why can't people read each other better?
40. why did i have to write these questions for class?
41. will gas ever go below $1.50 again?
42. how does ink come out of pens?

lyrics: "munich"-editors
people are fragile things, you should know by now.
be careful what you put them through.
people are fragile things, you should know by now.
you'll speak when you're spoken to.

2006-03-27T21:38:00.000-06:00

spring break. what an absolutely amazing feeling! i haven't been this happy in so long...i've been taking naps and going OUTSIDE for a run (my legs still burn...oh it hurts so good!) and watching movies and singing/dancing to my music every chance i get. uh-mazing.

and the best part is...i'm heading off to florida tomorrow!! woo-woo! baseball games and the beach, hanging out with the grandparents...s'all good. im excited...and i get to miss school! holla!

en route to the airport, we are stopping at the mall (prom dress shopping...shyeah, we shall see how THAT goes) and then ikea (pretty much one of the coolest places ever).

i think this is the happiest blog i have ever written. la dee dah.

keesh-tons
31. do ostriches, penguins, and chickens wish they could fly?
32. why are ipods the most popular mp3 player?
33. what exactly is "mn nice" and why did someone come up with it?
34. what came first, the chicken or the egg?
35. why do i have so many questions about birds?
36. who on earth created mr. potatohead and why?

on a side note, mr. potatohead was in the top 10 for vh1's 100 greatest toys countdown. the hulahoop was number 1, but me and erika concur that the ball should have been 1. it wasn't even on the countdown! tragedy.

hopefully next time i blog, i hope my skin isn't as white as a sheet of paper. fare thee well.

2006-03-12T19:43:00.000-06:00

anxious is the only way i can honestly say i have felt for the past few weeks, heck, maybe months. it hasn't all been bad anxiety either, perhaps a better word would be anticipation? i think anxious is more appropriate though. anxious to to get home from school, anxious to finish homework, anxious for the weekend, then spring break, then graduation. i'm trying to not get caught up in the whirlwinds of change and anxiety in fear of missing something. but i can't help it sometimes, i'm getting restless. im hoping spring break will be enough time to recooperate and get back on track, but i have two weeks...so the anxiety continues.

for the record, i hate big projects. just thought i should throw that out there.

on the bright side, i had an amazing day of shopping yesterday. it was probably my most successful shopping endeavor EVER. and believe you me (ive always wanted to say that)..it was pretty much awesome.

yeah questions....can't wait to hear some more answers!
25. is it better to know a little about everything or a lot about a few things?
26. why does everything cost so much?
27. does God have a big tv screen where He watches everyone?
28. do people really want to you to honk when you see their "honk if you ____" bumper stickers?
29. who came up with the whole hotdog concept?
30. why is there a "g" in gnat and gnome?

i heard the saddest and truest of lyrics the other day from the arctic monkeys (<3)
there's only new music, so that there are new ringtones.

2006-02-25T15:01:00.000-06:00

what did i tell you? amazing right? uncanny right? totally and unbelieveably wonderful? yes!!

i don't have an incredible amount of insight on life right now, that has been drained by my humanities-values class as well as my ap lit. class. hopefully the it will be fully replenished by monday, but with all the reading i have to do for both classes this weekend, i dont foresee that being very successful.

arctic monkeys album came out on tuesday...have yet to go get it. the future of this endeavor looks much better than the latter.

more questions! comment away on them...i love hearing from you! ease my sleepless nights, will ya?
19. what are llamas for?
20. why do bad things happen to good people?
21. what the heck am i going to do with my life?
22. does everyone have a soul mate?
23. is it better to be ignored and know everyone's secrets or be popular and know hardly anything about anyone?
24. what's better- street smarts or book smarts?

2006-02-16T09:32:00.000-06:00

just as we thought the snow gods were abandoning us...we got a snow day!! thus proving our little spat is over with them. thank goodness, it was one of the toughest downs in a relationship i think this state has ever endured, aside from nick and jessica's break up of course. the state is still shaken.

im just so elated right now, i cannot even begin to describe. the brilliant thing about snowdays (aside from the fact that you wake up and realize you can stay in bed forever, drinking hot chocolate/tea/coffee/insert complicated hot drink here, and have your own personal gilmore girls marathon) you ideally don't have homework! it was finished last night. yes, there is always something you could do homework related today, but why bother? the teacher didn't assign you any homework today. oh shucks, i guess you will just have to veg out all day.

ok, for this metaphor to work you are going to have to imagine my ears and musical soul to be my stomach. ok? great, let the metaphor begin. or simile. i know the difference, but, for all purposes i know someone will be like "that's a simile you idiot", at least i have acknowledged this fact. my musical stomach has been growling lately, never fully satisfied. however, i have found out that the arctic monkeys' album comes out next tuesday. something to look forward too! i have also been obsessed with we are scientists as of late. on a slightly different note, i have discovered i am a brit rocker at heart.

my olympics shout out: yeah for shaun white! the flying tomato and greatest rupert grint look a like EVER!

more questions to ponder...its a snow day, i got some time to think about them.
13. how does a cd work? who could think of such a thing?
14. who designated blue for boys and pink for girls?
15. why do we lose the imagination and awe we have when we are children?
16. why do we have appendixes? (or is it appendices?!)
17. how come tooth becomes teeth but booth doesn't become beeth?
18. will we feel it when continental drift causes us to run into another continent?

have a good one.

2006-02-04T13:06:00.000-06:00

so it has been a while...

new semester is going pretty well...can't say i hate any of my classes so that's a good sign.

some people are shockingly unaware of current events and politics today. in one of my classes, my teacher wrote some politicians name on the board and proceeded to put an (R) next to the name, of course signifying his political party. a girl in eleventh grade then asked what the R stood for...many people in my current events class responded by slapping their foreheads. i'm sorry, but i think that at that point in one's life one should know that an R next to a politician's name refers to the republican party.

continuing with my questions...
7. why are tennis balls fuzzy?
8. why are pizza boxes square?
9. what is going to happen to harry potter and company?
10.why do some people get joy out of causing pain to others?
11. who decided what "beautiful" people look like?
12. is it good that we can't remember things from when we were babies?

again, comments are appreciated.

i dont listen to a lot of pop-y music, but this natasha bedingfield song caught my interest:

staring at the blank page before you
open up the dirty window
let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

i wish that dirty window was easier to open.

2006-01-22T15:35:00.000-06:00

to do list:

read my mlk poem and not die right there on stage....check!
take my first semester finals....check!
enjoy my wonderful homeworkless weekend....check! (and its still not over =) )

i would say it has been a realitively sucessful week. i managed to survive too...an extra perk! huzzah! life this weekend has been blissful. i dont have any homework really. actually, i should catch up on math that i neglected last week and maybe i will. i want to not have to worry about that class again so much this semester. i'm truly interested on how this semester will go. hopefully by its end i will be ready to take on the world of college at the school of my choice. decision time has arrived, and so the pondering begins...

so, for my writer's workshop final i had to write a list of one hundred questions. then we exchanged them and had other people answer three of the questions. i still don't really know who got mine, but it doesn't really matter. i answered questions of "is there a man on the moon?", "why do we eat popcorn at the movies?", and "if cows eat so much grass, why aren't they green?". to summarize my answers, i will just say yes b/c hubert had his heart broken, cake and soup didn't go over well, and cows aren't given enough credit. in light of these circumstances, i have decided to publish my 100 questions on my blog....about 5 (give or take) will come each post...and i want to know what you think! make my sleepless nights a little better! and so it starts...

why don't chickens have lips?
do penguins have knees?
could money ever buy happiness?
does everything happen for a reason or do things just happen at random?
does abscence truly make the heart grow fonder?
why do waffles have the little square indents in them? is it to hold the syrup better?

i dont care if you know the real answer or not...just make it up if you don't know! answer one or two or all of them, whatever you want. they are just kinda fun to think about, so go for it!

peace out.

2006-01-14T19:00:00.000-06:00

happy birthday to my bloggy! 49 posts in one year...a respectable amount, almost one post a week! hopefully i will be able to make that mark this coming year and heck, maybe i will surpass it. only time will tell. and it all depends on how gracious the ominous inspiration is to me.

so, funny story. i pretty much had sworn off showing people my poetry any more. i was just disappointed with myself because i couldn't get people to respond to it. i wanted to move someone. anyone. then along comes this essay i was supposed to write for school, about the civil rights movement. i ended up writing a poem...it was a contest. my teacher had said that you could write in any way you wanted. so i wrote a poem. and gosh darn it all, i won. i don't know if its a weird form of karma or fate or a sign or something, but now i have to go read my poem in front of a huge crowd. i'm happy i won...but i just find it odd that as soon as i swear off showing people my poems, i have to show one to a crowd. yeah, we'll see how that one goes.

i've still been working on that whole bravery thing. funny thing, bravery. you think you have it and then when the time calls for it, you just can't muster up enough to do something. how does one become more brave? more fearless? are feelings just shoved aside....? maybe its that you just want something so badly nothing can stop you. or maybe its a nice combo of the two. but then, what if you have been brave, but have been disappointed or rejected so many times your highest possible level of bravery can never again be reached. its even more disappointing knowing that "hey, i got rejected so many times before i reached that high level that i will never know what it's like".

finishing a citizen development project, studying for finals...all in the recipe for the weekend of my bloggy's birthday. or anniversary. or annual celebration of creation. whichever you prefer.

2006-01-04T16:02:00.000-06:00

as i sit here in my room, listening to sad music because day was up there on the list of horribly crappy days, i realized it's almost my bloggy's birthday. i should buy my computer a party hat. or a kazoo.

anyways, its hard to describe the feeling i have right now. i'm not sure if its frustration or agony or disdain or pure sadness. or maybe a combo of the sort comprable to the copyrighted dollar menu. but i hate to put a price on my emotion. a penny for your thoughts, oh i need to put in my two cents...

mmm, yeah. today sucked. i speak up, get shot down, i put myself out, i get pushed back in, i want to be braver, but right now it just ain't workin'.

2005-12-30T22:44:00.000-06:00

since the last blog, i have made a series of revelations:

i'm pretty much swearing off all hilary duff movies. even when the plot shouldn't really be about her, they are. you expect it with "the lizzie mcguire movie" and such, but honestly, "the perfect man" should not be about her. i regretfully let you know i spent time watching hilary duff movies, but i feel it's important i inform you of such...malarky.
i realized why i don't regularily show people my poetry: because i tend to get no reaction to it. which is the exact opposite of what i would like to happen. even if you say "you're poem sucks", as long as you give me a reason, i will be happy. i think i will go back to being an underground poet, or at least not share it with everyone, because i know i will get hurt.
high school is....overrated.
i'm easily frustrated. i think. but i'm not sure...arg!

and there we are. and there we stay.

i'm considering giving ye olde bloggy a facelift, but then i wonder... how can i change it? it looks the way i want it to, and i think it sets the tone for what my blogs say. so then my mind wanders to thinking about things like the purpose of llamas and how come orange just doesn't rhyme with anything.

oh, and i'm not pretty much swearing off hilary duff movies, i am undoubtedly without a moment of hesitation doing so. no notion of uneasiness in my mind.

2005-12-20T22:05:00.000-06:00

the most amazing thing happened today: i have ABSOLUTELY NO HOMEWORK. it is just, a level of joy i never thought was achievable. and i used caps. i never use caps in my bloggy. that's just how important it is. i know. you are just about as awed as me. like you just figured out quantum physics. fo shiz.

so tomorrow is the first day of winter. however, in this hear state of minnesota, it has been winter since about mid october. don't even deny it, you know its true. yah yah you betcha. and tomorrow is the last day of school before winter break. tomorrow is pretty much guaranteed to be a good day.

i have decided to post one of the poems i recently wrote, since it is currently being ignored on my deviant art website, so i will post it here in hopes of comments, constructive criticism, etc. and if you feel so inclined, visit my designated art site and lemme know what you think. anyways, here's one poem entitled: "doormat"

imprinted sole
on the welcome mat
push over (shove off)
always there
with welcome arms (stay, won’t you?)
comforting words (but you can!)
mostly ignored
with thick bristles (better for taking a smear)
dirt surrounding the edges (to give the used look)
never a sound
for doormats can’t speak
anticipate the need (someone’s coming)
expect the use
fear the departure (they leave, again)
imprinted sole
imprinted soul

that's about it for today. i hope to blog again around christmas, we shall see.
happy holidays anyways

2005-11-23T17:08:00.000-06:00

welcome to a second volume of my generalizations. volume one had to do with the ever popular college visits. i present you with volume two: adventures in bell ringing. i've pretty consistantly participated in the bell ringing process. i can't call myself an expert, but i like to pretend i know what im talking about. so, appease me.

every winter, around thanksgiving time, you see those fire engine red canisters making a home in front of your favorite chain shopping centers. those bells just keep going and going and going...the people ringing them sometimes sing or dance to get extra contributions, but most of the time the bell ringing is sufficient. there are a few types of people that contribute, or in some cases don't contribute, but the one thing they have in common is they are out shopping. and are human. that's about it. let me introduce a few of them to you:

The Avoider- the Avoider could also be referred to as the "Grinch". these people behave a bit, well, oddly. they book past you, avoiding eye contact at all costs. or they look at you, say "oh, i dont have any change. i'll get ya on the way out", and then 20min. later you see them walking out the OTHER entrance. or they start walking toward the door you are ringing bells at, see you there, then abruptly turn and go in the other doors about 50yrds away , even when its like a bajillion degrees below outside. unfortunately for the avoiders, they are the ones that might end up getting smited.
The "I'm-doing-something-generous-but-don't-want-anyone-to-see" Giver- these donors perplex me. they give, some of the times very generously, but when they do give you money you hardly see them because they are trying to fly past you faster than superman. unfortunately for this group, they are so concentrated on putting the money in quickly they do the exact opposite. the money gets stuck or falls all over the place and they suddenly appear to be dressed in a giant hamburger costume dancing the hokey pokey (for those of you who don't get the analogy cos they aren't on the SATs any more, im just saying the become extremely obvious).
The Elves-ok, i guess it's not very nice to call them elves, but this group is made up of little kids that want to give money so they beg their parents to give them a quarter, and they wander up to the bucket all shy and such, and typically can't reach the "x" in the bucket to put the money in. however, this is my favorite group. they are so darn cute. and after they donate, they skip away.
The Sympathizers-this group is typically comprised of the older generations. they are the ones that donate cos "you're doing a great job!" or they wonder "aren't you cold?!". this group is nice too, but it sometimes gets a bit awkward. especially if you can't understand what they are saying and you end up just smiling and nodding. its nice, but awkward.
The Do-Gooders-these guys donate a reasonable amount and are quite pleasant. they donate, give a notion of "happy holidays" or whatnot, then go on with their lives. they are the ones that see you when they get out of their cars and whip out the wallet before they get to the entrance.
The "Keep-the Change"ers-these people just dump all the coins out of their wallet. or they walk out of the store with their 43 cents change and put it in the bucket as they leave.

well, that's about it. sure there are a few more, but these people make up a majority of the population. don't be discouraged by any of my generalizations, expect for the Avoider one. the donations are always greatly appreciated. if i might quote the sign attached to the buckets, donating should get you a "hearty 'thank you!'". and you will just feel good. besides, nobody would want to get smited right before the holidays. on the bright side, that would just mean a little more holiday pie for everyone else....just kidding.

happy thanksgiving!

2005-11-19T22:40:00.000-06:00

one last application to send it, one last essay to do. i am having a horrible time coming up with a topic. one choice was "find a quote that is meaningful to you and explain why". gosh darn it...a meaningful quote. and i have to talk about it for two pages. this was my first attempt at starting. mostly i think i needed to feel like i had tried writing the essay...my sister was the first to encounter my beginnings, and for that, i would like to take this time to apologize to her, cos it was a truly awful attempt...

"a raspy voice breaks the silence, announcing that "corn is no place for a mighty warrior!" a small, but mighty warrior leaps out of a drawing of a steaming bowl of corn, bounding off the page to a new, more worthy place of residence...
its only a cartoon, i tell myself. however, i can't help but thing the masked cartoonist, strong bad, has a point. corn really is no place for a mighty warrior. the warrior belongs in the field or in front of a castle, protecting the well-being of man kind. it's important to recognize one's niche, for it is impossible to grow and mature without being surrounded with the right environment."

that's right, i jokingly quoted strong bad for my college application. don't worry, this most definitly is not my essay introduction. at least i know that the only direction i can go is up. however, i hope you enjoyed my first go around at the essay. i did... =)

2005-11-08T16:40:00.000-06:00

i just love procrastinating homework. i get to stay up all night regretting this very moment and try to piece things together in some way that seems coherent.

to be completely honest, i don't feel bad about this moment at all. i feel like i need to post. there is just that vibe surrounding me.

things have gotten...a little better since i last posted. im still getting throttled with homework, but i am "caught up". however, i still feel like i'm not quite absorbing all the knowledge i should be right now. which isn't good. it seems more severe than senioritis.

on the bright side, i am not building a bridge for physics. i seem to remember doing that around this time last year.

i'd like to take this opportunity to point out that i am extremely frustrated, with miscellaneous things. take your pick of topics, i'm sure i could tell you i am slightly frustrated with it.

at least i am not a chicken. literally, a chicken. you should really feel bad for them. if you've seen my away message, this is just a repeat and then some. but honestly, those poor chickens...

they are constantly crossing the road
they don't have lips
their true existance gets questioned a lot
they can't fly
their name is used in a deragatory sense
they don't have large talons
apparently everything tastes like them
they always act like the sky is falling

so, the moral of this blog is to feel bad for chickens. and don't get overly frustrated with life or all you will be able to form complete ideas about are how much sympathy the world should have for chickens.

2005-10-14T17:31:00.000-05:00

so basically i have been walking around in a daze. i am not quite sure of what i think of myself or what i think of others at this point. i've had to resort to putting up this smiling front at school, which im not fond of doing (im actually a bit disappointed in myself). im upset that i feel i have to do this in front of my friends, but, i feel as though i will be looked down upon if i don't.

tennis is going well...this season has been the best yet. however, in retrospect, i feel like the day i signed up for tennis this year i sold my soul.

i bet if you looked at my auora, it would be very dark. i am feeling a bit empty right now.

really, what is getting me through the school day is my lunch break, thanks to the lunch crew, and i think you know who you are. panera, taco john's, mcd, the flippin' sweet tunage-thanks guys, more than you could even imagine.

my sister gave me the postal service cd (props to her for that) and its pretty much amazing. i have been listening to "sleeping in" obsessively, and it could possibly be one of the saddest songs i have ever listened to. there is a line in it that goes "slightly bored and severely confused", which is my favorite line because, well, that's me.

i'll leave y'all with some more of the song. listen to it, because i said so. oh right, like i have that much authority. and the more i read this stanza, the sadder i become...but it's such an amazing song i can't stop listening.

Again last night I had that strange dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed
Where concerns about the world getting warmer
The people thought they were just being rewarded
For treating others as they'd like to be treated
For obeying stop signs and curing diseases
For mailing letters with the address of the sender
Now we can swim any day in November
-The Postal Service

2005-09-25T21:25:00.000-05:00

in an effort to gain forgiveness from my bloggy, i shall try to write a decent blog so redemption shall be found. i feel bad that i have neglected him and you faithful visitors for so long...

lots and lots and lots of stuff has been going on:

i'm going to homecoming! the student body no longer has grounds to shun me. that's right folks, i haven't been to a high school dance yet...
tennis season is going fabulously. we are 8-0, one more match on tuesday and if we win we will be conference champs! how exciting!
i have never been so bitter about not being 18. shout out louds are going to be in concert 11/10 at the varsity theater and im not 18 so i can't go! i am so disappointed...so crushed....*sob* my shout out louds...i how i will miss thee
it rained a lot this weekend and made me super duper happy. i love the rain and thunderstorms. heck yes i do.

ah, my life in a nutshell. sort of.

ooo! ooo! switchfoot cd is absolutely positivly brilliant. holy cow. i didn't even think it was possible to live up to the awesomeness of the beautiful letdown...i almost feel bad for my lack of faith in switchfoot. but i love them to death. switchfoot-you are the epitome. oh goodness. hah, and my english teacher is pretty much convinced im obsessed with them...she really is and i think perhaps a bit scared by the whole thing.

i think im gonna end on this note. actually a pretty happy blog this time. i'll save the sob stories, sorrows, and confusions i am enduring right now for another time, because im just so darn proud of this happy blog!

"happy is a yuppy word"

*how's this geminem?*

2005-09-04T19:38:00.000-05:00

want to get to know me?
here is all you wanted to know:

Your Life: The Soundtrack
Created by aiko and taken 35663 times on Bzoink
Opening credits	"The First Single"-The Format
Waking up	"Be My Escape"-Relient K
Average day	"This Is Your Life"-Switchfoot
First date	"We Are Going To Be Friends"-The White Stripes
Falling in love	"Tulips"-Bloc Party
Love scene	"Your Body Is A Wonderland"-John Mayer
Fight scene	"Take Me Out"-Franz Ferdinand
Breaking up	"Behind These Hazel Eyes"-Kelly Clarkson
Getting back together	"Time After Time"-Cyndi Lauper
Secret love	"Made For Each Other Pt. 1"-Jack's Mannequin
Life's okay	"The Comeback"-Shout Out Louds
Mental breakdown	"Welcome To My Life"-Simple Plan
Driving	"Very Loud"-Shout Out Louds
Learning a lesson	"Sophmore Slump or Comeback of the Year"-Fall Out Boy
Deep thought	"The World At Large"-Modest Mouse
Flashback	"Good Riddance"-Green Day
Partying	"Na Na Na Na Naa"-Kaiser Chiefs
Happy dance	"Switch"-Will Smith
Regreting	"An Honest Mistake"-The Bravery
Long night alone	"Runaway Train"-Soul Asylum
Death scene	"Sound the Bugle"-Gavin Greenaway
Closing credits	"We Will Become Silhouttes"-The Postal Service
Create a Survey Search Surveys Go to Bzoink

2005-09-01T20:52:00.000-05:00

so wow, it's been a while. i guess i should just attack this blog like there's no tomorrow:

tennis season is going pretty awesome. we beat mayo 4-3 which was simply AMAZERING and are now currently 2-0 in the big nine. go team! you guys are flippin' sweet...

school has started. i actually wrote 2 papers last night, even though i had all summer to write them. that's right, i am the queen of procrastination. if you have a problem with that, tough. im already waiting for school to be over. it actually gave me a throbbingly painful headache today. it literally makes me sick. how strange.

so yesterday while writing my papers, i think i listened to over 100 songs as noted on my audioscrobbler. i was slightly impressed with myself and slightly mortified at the same time. 100 songs=long time on the compy. oh goodness.

no real homework as of yet, but i can pretty much guarantee i will get some tomorrow. i would start counting down school now, but when i think of how many days are left, i want to cry. so, i will wait a little bit. *sigh*

2005-08-23T15:03:00.000-05:00

so busy. must remember to stop and breath every once in a while. and breath...

school is coming back to haunt once again. there was an orientation dance last night, schedule pick up this morning (along with ID pics), and tennis is gearing up even more. it all makes me want to cringe. and when i look at my schedule, all my classes look a lot scarier on that official looking paper. i shpose we'll see how all that goes.

speaking of school, i have not finished my summer homework as of yet. i am only a hundred or so pages into "huckleberry finn" and a little more than half way through "conscience of a conservative". i have finished "no exit" and "conscience of a liberal" though. two papers remain to be written, and i am no where close to that. ah...this last week and half of summer is gonna be hectic. oh goodness, i can hardly contain my enthusiasm for school. blah....

jack's mannequin cd came out today. have yet to go get it, but i am super excited for it. *sigh* music makes me get out of bed in the morning.

i am off to tennis practice. hopefully i show a small amount of talent out there.
psh...whatever.

2005-08-16T22:12:00.000-05:00

meep.

tennis started on monday. the team is a lot bigger than anticipated, but we are hoping for a completely awesome year! i'm so excited!

have recently gotten addicted to my audioscrobbler and feel the constant need to listen to music on the compy. it has temporarily annoyed the people around me and i think i should stop being so obsessive about that. heh, we'll see how that goes.

school is coming up soon, and i still have yet to complete my homework. you are correct, i have homework to do over summer. what's up with that? i am plowing through it ever so slowly. as long as it is done by september 1, i have no worries. then again, it should probably be done a lot sooner than that.

that's about it. nothing terribly exciting. i just keep listening to music...lots and lots of music. ahhhh.....

my name is angie, and i am addicted to audioscrobbler.

2005-08-06T15:19:00.000-05:00

in celebration of finishing college visits i am aware of, i have decided to create a short publication regarding my experiences i would like to entitle: "oh, the people you meet".

i like to think i know a little something about college visits. if you have experienced, are experiencing, or will experience visiting a college (which i'm sure most of you will), you will undoubtedly meet people. while each campus is different in its own way, the people on campus tour are very cliched. i would like to present you with a few people you will come across, no matter what you do, where you go, or how hard you try to avoid them.

the tour guide- you will either love your tour guide and hope everyone on campus is like them, or destest your guide and pray you never talk to them again. it is his or her job to sell the school to you, the prospective student. most pride themselves in walking backwards, knowing the strangest things, and telling you everything about themselves. i would like to take this opportunity to say that ilana is the greatest tour guide ever and if you ever check out ISU you must have her for your tour guide!
the over-interested parent- these parents can either be good or bad. they ask questions you would not think of, are afraid to ask, or would ask the question if they ever stopped. i often find fathers are the over-interested parent. i dont know why, but they are. keep in mind the over-interested parent does not have to be your own.
the suck up student- this is the prospective student that is a mini and more intensive for of the over-interested parent. the suck up student has had merchandise on their wall for as long as they can remember about said school and need to show that they support the school more than the students that all ready attend the college. they tend to hang out near the front of the line, next to the tour guide, swapping fun facts about the school.
the i dont really care if i go here or not student- this person is interesting to watch because they show no emotion no matter the cost, campus, fun fact, or weather. they walk around obediently with the school's folder in their arms and never say a word. ever. even when asked a question. silence...
the huh, i still dont really know- this student is looking at all their options. they will sometimes break their silence to ask or answer a question. he or she is still trying to take everything in at the end of the tour and is constantly asking him or her self if they can see themself at said school.

hopefully this has helped you with a few generalizations about campus visits of said school. i also wish you luck on picking a school because as of yet, i still have no idea where i am going. all i know is campus visits can make or break a visit. if you take heed of my notes, you may be able to avoid certain circumstances and make your visit better. The end.

2005-08-01T20:05:00.000-05:00

i've got another confession to make...

i'm a fool.

2005-07-29T17:08:00.000-05:00

my blogging skills are not up to par...need to work on this.

so tennis lessons are...well, less than fabulous. they are like anti-fabulous. im sick of them and can't wait for the season to start so i actually enjoy tennis again.

a certain large electronics chain did not have the shout out louds cd that i was hoping for either. can't depend on them for anything any more. the store, i mean...

horseback riding was nothing special this week. i didn't do great at all.

so overall, my week was bad. hopefully yours went better. tell me about it because i could use a good pick me up right about now.

2005-07-18T18:49:00.000-05:00

i have never been so disgustinly gross, hot, nasty or more excited in my entire life. sonshine was amazing! yes, it was like a kajillion degrees everyday (on my thermometer at least, on yours it would be like 95). there was no shade and i became addicted to the hose with the coldest water in the world. i almost got smothered to death in the mosh pit for the relient k concert too. but oh man, it was all worth it. the bands were fabulous most of the time. matt t. from relient k got a bit moody again as well, but a large percent of the bands were wonderful. let me see how many bands i can remember seeing....skillet, audio adrenaline, newsboys, toby mac, relient k, switchfoot, mercy me, passing thru(but are now under a new name i cant remember), house of heroes, krystal meyer, and then the band before mercy me that i cant remember the name. *whew* there was this artist/speaker too. he was amazing. he did this chalk art thing.....wow. words cant even begin to describe...

let's see....i managed to read the harry potter book in two days. it was pretty good, but i still have to say the third one is my favorite. there is a lot of explaining in this one and thats all im going to say, in fear of spoiling the book for those of whom have not read it. enjoy!!

most things on my count down have become.....uncountdownable. so, its pretty much over i guess....rejoycing...?

i get my real physical senior pictures on wednesday, which is exciting too. i have seen them all ready, just gotta go pick them up. w00t!

2005-07-07T21:22:00.000-05:00

just thought i would check in and update my countdowns because i know my count down is a priority on your list of things to do. i've been busy with tennis and re-amping an old house...fixing it up and what not. im excited to see the final product.

oh! and i can't stop listening to the shout out louds-"very loud". i love that song. oh my goodness...i love it so much.
little by little
you're gonna hear me cry
hear my cry
why?

4 days until i turn 17...
6 days until sonshine...
8 days until charlie and the chocolate factory...
9 days until harry potter and the half-blood prince!!

2005-06-30T20:07:00.000-05:00

i recently watched edward scissorhands. i didn't really know what to expect, but i figured i would love it. which i ended up doing. however, the movie made me sad and brought me to one, or a few, revelations. *i must warn you now, that if you haven't seen the movie this could possibly spoil it. consider this your warning*

i thought it was amazing and wonderful how everyone in the community fell in love with edward. being the pessimist i am, i figured they all would shun him and he would be even more dismal down in the town with houses color coordinated to their cars as opposed to his large, dark, castle with the amazing shrubberies in the front yard. but everyone loved him. except for the lady with all the incense next door, and a few rogues (aka teens). i was pleasantly surprised. i thought "how cool...society actually accepts him!" this is where my innocent ignorance became apparant and my happiness was shattered. a few select humans' stupidity end up bringing edward's happiness to a bitter ending. and that is how im going to leave it. i was saddened by the ending.

i think watching this movie at the beginning of the week made me a little bitter towards other humans this week. which i feel badly about, but can't help knowing i expected it in the movie. and it makes me sad how i went into the movie expecting it and then it really happened, even though i didnt want it to happen. its even sadder how it happened though. *sigh* it makes me wonder why people can't be more accepting and it makes me wonder how society got into such a sad position.

so...i dont know if i got my revelation across really, but i think i got a few important thoughts out there.

11 days until i turn 17...
13 days until sonshine...
15 days until charlie and the chocolate factory...
16 days until harry potter and the half-blood prince!

2005-06-26T17:04:00.000-05:00

i have been struggling with my bloggy here...trying to think of something wonderful to write.

my wrist has acted up again. huzaah except not. it hurts...not like sheeringpaincantmovearmatall but more like irritatingpokesthatjustwillnotquit. *sigh* i planned on returning to tennis tomorrow, but i'm not so sure it is a good idea any more.

gosh darn it. im suffering from severe blogger's block.

im seriously at a loss for topics, ideas, arguments, intelligent words. i guess i will leave you with my exciting countdowns. because i just cant wait!!! incidentally, my countdowns will all end about the same time.

15 days until i turn 17...
17 days until sonshine...
19 days until charlie and the chocolate factory...
20 days until harry potter and the half-blood prince

huzzah!

2005-06-13T21:19:00.000-05:00

oh bloggy...

my summer has been so incredibly busy. incredibly fun, but incredibly busy nonetheless. i can't belive nonetheless is one word. how strange....

went up to minneapolis and to the art institute. i saw a real monet, and van gogh, and matisse...it was very cool. and then there was this "traveling" exhibit thing. it was amazing! they were these huge murals on an unstretched canvas and then it was like in water colors or acrylic. but the best part was the artist would write stuff in a metallic ink on the picture in just the right spots. it was amazing. some people are just...wow. check out the link if you want...its got her stuff on it
http://www.artsmia.org/exhibitions/details.cfm?ev_id=1721

i started working this week. kids say the cutest things...this one kid when we were done was like "that was some good tennis today". i laughed. oh, btw, if you didnt know, i teach little kids how to play tennis. i guess that is more important than just an after thought, but whatever...

for now, im going to count down until the 6th Harry Potter book, just because i saw a count for it at the book store yesterday so now i don't have to count all the days myself, heh.

34 days until Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

2005-06-07T10:16:00.000-05:00

ITS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
school's out for summer.....
no more teachers, no more books....
and all that fabbity fab jazz.

except for this cold.
not so fabbity fab.

anyways...went to a bonfire last night. and played ultimate frisbee. it was so much fun! i can't say im a very good frisbee player, i can hardly catch and my throwing skills aren't much better, but i did make one amazing catch last night. it was...pretty sweet.

gosh i love summer. its just.....wonderful. its not so stressful, i can go outside and play tennis in the sun, or dance in the rain. everything is perfect in the summer. except for misquitos, i think i got like, 14 bug bites last night. *ouch*

well, my countdown for school is no longer valid...i could count down a few things now: sonshine, harry potter 6, willy wonka...haven't decided yet. i guess you'll just have to come back and find out

oo! intrigue...

2005-05-31T16:44:00.000-05:00

i find myself here, in front of the computer, rather than studying, in front of a book, and im not surprised or upset about it...i just find myself not where i should be. which happens a lot. in many cases actually. *sigh*

my days of learning as a junior are over, now comes the beast. the calm before the store. the really good smell of fresh-baked cookies that you realize have been in the oven 10 minutes too long and are now burnt to a nice crisp and you have to resort to naming them because they are not good for anything else and then put them in the garbage. by the way, sorry about that hank, jimmy, otis, etc....

my dad whipped out this sheet of paper his friends gave him from the good ol' school days. its entitle, "hidden brain damage scale". the receiver of the sheet is supposed to answer some true/false questions and it apparently tells the receiver of the sheet if they have brain damage. i have picked a few of my favorites:
-people tell me one thing one day and out the other
-my toes are numbered
-i fell as much like i did yesterday as i do today
-sometimes i have the strange feeling i've done something before
-sometimes i have the strange feeling i've done something before
-i am annoyed by the taste of my teeth

unfortunately, for myself, i answered many questions true....

*sigh*

3 days of school left....w00t!

2005-05-26T19:57:00.000-05:00

haven't blogged in a while, so i thought i should stop by quick and do my civic duty.

these past few days have been weird. i know im not nostalgic or anything. and having school end isn't really a bitter sweet feeling, more just a sweet feeling. because its driving me insane. i think im upset about something, but can't really put my finger on it.

bought the kaiser chiefs cd. its absatively posalutly wonderful.

so i guess that's about it. besides this weekend being a three day weekend, everything just kind of sucks right now. any suggestions as to why...?

5 days of school left....thank goodness!

2005-05-15T19:15:00.000-05:00

as the end of school gets closer, the homework and stress seem to grow. i wish things would wind down, but they aren't. i wish teachers would stop assigning stupid filler projects because they don't know what to do these last two weeks, but they aren't. i wish the school days would go faster, but they aren't. seeing a pattern emerging yet?

so my sister showed me this sim television show thing, affectionately named "the strangehood". i discovered/learned a few things while watching it:
-some people have waaaaaaaay too much time on their hands
-the sims involved are stereotypical people, and the sad thing is, they really all exist
-i actually think i lost a few i.q. points while watching it
-death by flesh eating locusts, electricity, consumed by abnormally large rabbit, or drowing by cement are not pleasant ways to go
-fish live and die in water

i strongly recommend checking this out. maybe you could learn a thing or two.

im doubting the chance of my survival in the next 3 weeks.....
14 days of hell, oops, i mean school left

2005-05-09T20:07:00.000-05:00

well, i survived the SAT. the essay was not so fabulous, and after testing for about an hour and half, i began to get bored. can ya blame me?! who wants to take a test for 4 hours. not me, that's for sure.

giacomo won the 131st kentucky derby on saturday. it was a very exciting race! he was deftly not in position to win this thing, coming in with odds of 50-1, second largest long shot in history. it was really cool! flew by the leading horses right at the end....what a race! poor belamy road, had 5-2 odds, placed 7th. i guess that's the way the cookie crumbles...

preakness is in two weeks!

i have a lot to turn in this week. not looking fabulous.

my sister introduced me to the band hot hot heat. what a truly fabulous group. props to becky!!

the countdown continues...(the number is a little tweaked cause i forgot about memorial day. its right now)
18 days of school left!

2005-05-04T20:45:00.000-05:00

the sat looms ahead of me.....only two more days for studying...i think i may have to cry soon. *sob*

i'm hoping it will be okay, it would be nice to do well on it.

at least im not taking a freakin' a.p. u.s. history test this year. good grief, i think that would kill me.

i did an improve speech today. my question: "should music be a required class in highschool?" i said sure. i mean, music makes the world go 'round, and it doesnt hurt to know how to play an instrument...does it? anyways...the speech went okay i suppose. i didnt die or anything, so that always makes the speech a little better.

as unfortunate as it may be, i think i have a lot to do these last few weeks of school, but my lack of motivation is starting to shine through, and i fear i may be in a little bit of trouble.

so the count down continues....
22 days of school left

2005-05-01T17:55:00.000-05:00

consider this...people wake up in the morning and go to school, work, etc. most of those people go through their day waiting for it to end. i personally watch the clock tick by in my least favorite classes waiting to get out of school. then people go home. some people count down the time until they get to eat or until their favorite show comes on or when they get off sports practice or even the time until they go to bed. then the next day, it happens all over again. time is flying by. i feel like i am waiting for something, but its not coming. i know i should live every minute like its the last, but its hard when it feels like i'm waiting for something. what am i waiting for? am i completely off base?

so, less contemplative now...

prom was last night. but i didn't go. i had a dateless loser party instead! it is not anti-prom, it was just the result of not going. i would have gone, except yeah....long story. but the party was fun!

sat next weekend. good grief, what have i gotten myself into? why why why did i do this?!

meh. back to school tomorrow. i guess counting days left of school, there are 24 days. i am counting down.....see? there i go with the time thing again....

24 days until summer!

2005-04-23T20:27:00.000-05:00

it worked. by george, the freakin' little motor worked. i just don't believe. i still can't believe it. comprehension is not even an option at this point.

hopefully school will be getting better now. this was probably the worst week ever. and, im sure i say that every week, but this week was up there. a truly crappy week. except, next week could be sort of bad since school is going to swing high gear into prom mode. ah prom....im not going this year. holding a, uh, traditional "dateless loser" party. don't let the name deceive you, its an awesome time!

i just realized how i haven't listened to my yellowcard cd in forever. while yellowcard is sort of old news a perhaps corny to some, its just a great cd. i think im gonna go listen to it now.

i have been listening to music a lot this weekend. i think its because i finally have time to. again, i need to stress the epic-ness of it all. makes summer feel a lot more attainable.

"Way Away"-Yellowcard

Letting out the noise inside of me
Every window pane is shattering
Cutting off my words before I speak
This is how it feels to not believe

2005-04-17T17:07:00.000-05:00

bloggy! how i have missed thee! i actually have no excuse other than i have been extraordinarily busy...

i have been building a motor. psh. yeah right, me build a motor. i think i am about one third of the way done, and so far, the bar i wrapped the wire around has magnetized, so i think im in the right direction. however, its sort of difficult to drill a hole through a different magnet. does anyone know what one needs to use to drill a hole through a magnet? because as of right now, i am clueless.

recently watched love acutally. oh my goodness...what an incredible movie. its just happy like that.

oh, and i did forget a movie on my movie list: harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban. how could i forget that one? i am ashamed of myself. well, my footnote for that movie is (i heart the sweater harry is wearing all the time, and ron is awesome).

still have to work on my 1984 paper and my speech on m.c. escher. the power point for that turned out pretty good, but i hate giving speeches. it just is poopish. and something strange happened when i tried to bold the word...these words should be bolding, but when i turn the bold off they start to bold. weird.

ok, i have to confess. i have a hidden agenda to blogging. those things that i still have to work on...i should be working on those now. oh well! apparently homework is just for academic reasons, it also gives you a reason to do things you really want to do but don't make the time for. yeah bloggy!

alas...foul homework...it is a force to be reckoned with....34 school days left, including finals and excluding weekends...

2005-04-09T19:56:00.000-05:00

coming live to you from my sister's dorm...its a special edition of my blog! yeah for bloggy! actually made it through the week after spring break. didn't even know it was possible, but much to my amazement, i did it. there was a fair share of frustration, however, but that can be expected.

i am finally getting around to posting my movie listing. i hope i don't forget any, but im going to have to do my best without my list. yes, that's right, im lame and wrote a list so i don't forget them all. even though there weren't as many as i would have liked, its still a pretty good number. i actually spent a lot of time watching gilmore girl episodes. i heart that show. anyways, most of the movies were good, but some were less enjoyable than others. oh! i decided to also add some commentary, just to make it a little more interesting. so here we go:
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail (one of the best movies ever! its a classic!)
-Alice and Wonderland ( i absolutely loved this movie when i was like 5...i watched it everyday)
-Saving Silverman ( funny. jack black. 'nuff said.)
-A Cinderella Story (ugh, don't get me started. ew, hilary duff)
-Clue (this is pretty humorous. there are a lot of older famous actors/actresses in it. i recommend this if you haven't seen it yet)
-The Incredibles (one of the best animated movies ever!)
-Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (this was cute, but i like the first one better)

so i think that's it. actually, there might be one more but i can't remember it. so when i get home, i will have to look. but that's about it for now.

has anyone heard that song by akon. i think its called "lonely". there is like a chipmunk sounding thing singing through out the song and then the dude raps. as absurd as that sounds, its actually kind of catchy. its just a funny song. but this song is great..."time after time"- cyndi lauper:

if you're lost you can look--and you will find me
time after time
if you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
time after time

2005-03-31T21:51:00.000-06:00

i have returned from vacation....not from break, just vacation. vacation is the going of somewhere and break is the not having to be at school. i have 3 full days of no school gosh darn it! no im not extremely possessive of my days away from school. how dare you suggest it!

visited some colleges...apart from seeing my sister at her college, i visited 2, yes a grand total of 2, colleges. they were pretty cool. went to washington and webster. washington: beautiful campus! would have been even prettier with the trees in bloom, but hey, it was awesome just the same. will i ever get into washington? erm, uh, not gonna touch that subject. it is also a little, uh, pricey. webster: was pretty cool. the number of students was good and it was affordable, however, there was no greek life (?!)(not planning on joining a sorority, but whats the college experience without greek life?). the housing was pretty cool too. so i don't know what all of this means, but i'm not stopping my college search there. will keep looking around...any suggestions are welcome!

i have watched a surprising amount of movies this week and i plan to come out with the list at the end of my happiness(aka the end of spring break). can't say it will be as impressive as some lists i have seen(ilana...), but i am pretty proud of it. can't say i liked all the movies, but it was entertaining all the same.

3 days until the end of break....it was too good to be true.....aw man....

2005-03-25T20:34:00.000-06:00

i'm floating....the pressure is just, gone. i made it. i actually made it to spring break...woot! wahoo!*jumping up and down and dancing around* after the night i had last night, i wasn't even sure i was going to make it through the day. all the economics and english and speech and physics(*cringe*) and the math. i finally made it to be at about 2:ooam. its amazing how well i functioned today on 4 hours of sleep, however, i did come home and take a long nap....

so spring break! yessssssss. gonna see my sister, look at some colleges. should be a good time. i have been looking forward to the week for so long, leaving school today was like being liberated. for 9 days...

i have vowed to update my deviantart site too, so keep a look out for that over the next week. i really have neglected the site, the poor thing. its just stagnate, if a website could collect dust i wouldn't want to look at my at. however, i have logged on and commented on other people's stuff, so i guess some of the dust got wiped away there.

I’ve given up, I’m giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last call that You mentioned is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

-relient k

2005-03-13T19:23:00.000-06:00

*wipes dust off screen* whoa, long time no see to my dear blog. how i have missed thee....

i went to a dance last night. it was so much fun! i even learned how to chacha and waltz and do this cool greek dance. it was an awesome time! w00t for that! i also discovered my mad dancing skills (or lack there of...) and my incredible coordination (which ironically doesn't exist).

i am currently reading 1984 by george orwell. he is simply amazing! however, i have to have the book read by the end of the week, which is not so wonderful. and i have to write 50 notecards. crazy! will the madness never cease?!

spring break is 2 weeks away...i fear i wont' make it until then. oh the pain...

well, until next time.....uh...(insert words of wisdom here).
without wax,
angie

2005-02-28T19:15:00.000-06:00

so i gave in...i watched the oscars. i was cheering for finding neverland all the way. however, it was hopeless hoping as they only won one award. but thats ok! its an award! woot for finding neverland! huzaah for johnny, kate, and those little kids! they were all so good!

my speech went....well, it went. i had to demonstrate something. i showed how to make a cookie mix in a jar type thing. i don't know what the results, in reference to grades, are, but i should find out soon enough i suppose.

hockey team is going to state on thursday! so incredibly excited. cannot wait. i'm sure you can see my enthusiasm, really its there. i just have maximized my exclamation point or factorial symbol (depends on whether or not you are a math/english guru) quota. so i would have put this entire paragraph with the given symbol, but again, i have maximized the quota. no more...no mas...

What a great song.... switchfoot-"24"

I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.

2005-02-22T20:34:00.000-06:00

so this rarely happens, i am blogging two days in a row. that is right, two days in a row! amazering...

i should really really really be doing homework right now, specifically, practicing my speech. i am 98% sure i go on friday, but then again, there is a lurking doubt in my mind. but, i am fairly confident in my assignment notebook writing skills and it says i go on the 25th, so on the 25th, i shall be prepared. anyways, homework is agonizing and overrated. english is killing me, i must say. lots of reading logs. stop the reading logs! i can't take it! they are coming from left and right, up and down, they are popping out of the ground like daisies! ahhhh!

recently, i have been listening to music constantly. not that i don't listen to music a lot, it just seems that the silence is deafening and i need that music playing. i recently have that wonderful howie day song playing, ah, howie day, how do you sound so good? and switchfoot! ah! switchfoot. can't get enough of them, truly wonderful. how do they know me so well?

i was particularily upset with a certain music magazine today. they put some of the most fabulous bands (ie: The Killers, Franz Ferdinand) in truly awful categories. for instance, worst new artist. however, The Killers feel into the worst and best new artist. how does that work? i simply could not tell you, well because, i don't really know.

ahem, right. done now.
without wax...

2005-02-21T20:52:00.000-06:00

the end to my wonderful weekend is here. i knew it was coming, but i didn't know i would be so sad. it was so relaxing and nice....i don't want to to stop.

anyways, i am sort of confused with things at this point. i know the vagueness of that statement is just awful to read because it is so....blah, but its true. i don't really know what i am confused about, and that my friends, makes my confusion frustrating. arg...i need to figure something out! what is the deal here?

*sigh*

2005-02-17T20:37:00.000-06:00

real quick i suppose...if that is even possible for an angie-original blog. hmmm...

the most amazing thing happened. i got an A on a physics test. i know! my mouth was gaping open too! you should really look at yourself in the mirror, gaping mouths are funny.

saw a guthrie production by kevin kling. it was amazing! he was absolutly hilarious. if he ever swings by your area, i strongly recommend checking out his show, "freezing paradise". you will appreciate it 10 times more if you are minnesotan, and if you aren't, well, you will just find out more quirks of us minnesotans.

that's about all for now folks.
i heard this song on the radio and after listening to the lyrics i just went "wow, i know THAT feeling..."

Howie Day-"Collide"

even the best fall down sometimes
even the wrong words seem to rhyme
out of the doubt that fills my mind
i somehow find
you and i collide

2005-02-14T17:53:00.000-06:00

i'm going to play the role of captain obvious and state the apparent: it's valentine's day. i figure i should say something in response to today. i don't really know why, but it seems appropriate:
ah love. to be in love. what is love? is it when you can not take your mind off someone? is it when you just can't wait until you see them or talk to them again? is it just being able to talk to them whenever? is it someone that you can never truly be mad at? i am actually not going to dwell on love too much because i don't want people to think i am trying to define it. but then again, the question always comes up, what is love?

today was pretty good. actually had a two hour delay...someone does listen to me! i was up uber late last night writing a paper about social security, and i was supposed to have a physics test today. i needed sleep. sleep deprivation has become an all to common problem for me. anyways, i got to sleep later AND my physics test got pushed to tomorrow. so i really should be studying now. but, blogging is just so much more fun and entertaining.

survived the ACT. barely. especially the science part. oh the pain! especially reading about craters and whatnot, right j.sizzle? why couldn't it have been about...well, uh, anything but craters? i guess that is why i am not writing the ACT.

hmmm...right. well, i suppose i must venture off to the vast abyss of studying for physics. it is a sad and actually scary place where i have to figure out how things work. like why electrons are negative. ok, so it is a little more complex than that, but i think you catch my drift. ah...test tomorrow. be afraid, be very afraid...

2005-02-11T17:20:00.000-06:00

ugh. so, i thought this week was going to go better. ahahahahaha....i am sooooo incredibly naive. i'm just gonna leave it at that. no need to go into detail, or people my start to question me. so i'm stopping at the bad week here.

my satire actually went pretty ok. wow, me speak english good. i think my english teacher even chuckled, which is a good sign. this paper deftly went better than the other one. again, not going there. i apologize for the vagueness, but i am really doing it because i care about you, the reader.

anyways, i have decided i am sick of being a doormat, sick of being ignored, and sick of being so paranoid. i can't really help the last one, but the other two....grrrr....something has to be done about those. people just walk all over me, and i can't take it anymore!!! not that i really know what to do about it, but i guess step one is realizing the problem....i'm thinking about getting a patch.

busy busy weekend. the ACT is stalking me.....it gets closer and closer, like an overpaid popstar in search of the skimpiest outfit. ok, so, the simile doesn't really make sense, but someone must agree with me to a certain extent.

have you ever talked to someone and you just couldn't figure them out? i mean, no matter how hard you try to understand and decipher them, you just can't. now, i know that it makes life interesting, but i am sure there is one person out there that everyone is trying to figure you. i hear you. i don't know if i can help, but i do understand you. kind of ironic, isn't it...?

p.s.-blogger, please publish this post. that would be really swell...the cat's pajamas....

2005-02-07T19:33:00.000-06:00

dumb blogger...tried to post yesterday. it didn't work. apparently, my blog was not worthy enough. it must pass through a series of tests i suppose. hopefully this one will be more successful.

saw finding neverland. it was amazing. johnny depp never ceases to amaze me. any character he plays, he does so well. he isn't one of those actors you see in a role and then can never see him as anything else like elijah wood will almost always be looked at as a hobbit. one can't look at johnny depp and go i only see him as edward scissorhands or captain jack sparrow. he is like the universal actor, and for that, i must applaude him.

school isn't so hot right now. i have recently been corrected of my awful mistake that i was somewhat good at art. i stink. it is so sad...physics is driving me nuts. do i know whats going on? no. do i ever? heck no. and english, i really thought i had that subject down. just kidding, i don't. ask we speak, or rather i type and you read, i am attempting to write a satire on censorship. its going ok, but not real fabulous.

i really need to get more on top of things. ACT on saturday. i am suddenly hating standardized tests more than usual. i suppose that i am a little biast at this point though...

2005-02-06T14:57:00.000-06:00

so this week was a little better. not much, but there was a little improvement. ended up not going to the dance, which was okay because i ended up going to a "dateless loser" party. good times, good times.

finally finally finally saw finding neverland. oh, what an absolutly wonderful movie. johnny depp never ceases to amaze me. he is like a universal character, he plays all his roles so well. really though, if you have never seen the movie you must. you just have to. you will not be sorry. great great movie.

have yet to have a fabulous week at school this semester. i must admit, im only going into the third week of the semester, but it should be getting better. i have to say i am much worse at art than i anticipated and my english teacher hates me more than i thought as well. needless to say, i still have to figure him out.

how strange is it that my tendonitis from a tennis injury acted up after playing foozball? i mean, its foozball. is that even how you spell it? ah well, must go study more for the glorious ACT. not looking forward to it. i am truly awful at standardized tests. its really bad. i say, get rid of them. but that's just the opinion of a stressed out junior dreading the ACT and other college placement exams. i guess i am a little biast...

2005-01-29T17:45:00.000-06:00

i made it to the weekend! huzaah! this was probably one of the longest weeks in the entire history of long weeks. however, it did have one major perk: i have a new baby cousin! his name is Dylan. he is adorable. it was very exciting! deftly the best part of my week.

finally got my art class only to discover i dont have much talent in art. hopefully my skills will get better. maybe they will be comparable to napoleon dynamite's numbchuck skills....or bowhunting skills.....

school dance coming up. am i going? probably not. would i like to go? ah, the eternal question....you all can see if you come up with the correct answer.

without wax...

2005-01-23T21:32:00.000-06:00

i just can't get it out of my mind. no matter how hard i try. nothing works. not writing, not reading, nothing. nothing is working at all. how does one get something out of their head? any suggestions? anyone...anyone..? i just need to.....gah....i don't know.

*first paragraph has nothing to do with anything else, it was more of a putting my thoughts on paper, or screen, i guess type thing. pay no attention to it now. i have vowed to not delete those kinds of things. how well i keep to this remains to be seen.

new semester tomorrow...should be okay. hoping and praying anyways. i guess i will just have to wait and see what happens. i just need to find a good song and sing it ALL DAY LONG. it should make everything ok. i think.

2005-01-20T22:01:00.000-06:00

i did it. i actually did it. i am finally done with finals. i never thought this day would come. the relief...no homework for three whole days! woot! i also got the grade i was hoping for in physics which was absolutely amazing. pretty good day i guess, just have to see how i did on my finals as a whole.

not much to rant or rave about right now, except you just have to hear this song. its amazering, simply wonderful, don't ignore it either..."don't put it on the blackburner...": the killers- "all these things that i've done"

When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know - no you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain't changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier...

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Over and out, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done
All these things that I've done
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

2005-01-17T20:18:00.000-06:00

one can not even begin to imagine how freakin' awful it was to get my comment thing up and going. truly terrible. the html-ing and the cutting and the pasting and the frustration....gah! but now things are finally set up (hopefully) and everything will be ok.

finals begin tomorrow. actually, tomorrow isn't looking so bad. spanish 3 final is the only real one. now physics...yeah not so much. bad bad things will happen, the wind is changing, planets will align or whatever people say when bad things happen. i guess it could be a potential horoscope for myself. look out ms. cleo or whomever may be using the planets to explain my life....

just need to make it through this week, then everything will be okay until my next test, which is next wednesday i think. its in physics...

2005-01-16T20:25:00.000-06:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

2005-01-15T23:35:00.000-06:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

2005-01-14T18:57:00.000-06:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

2005-01-14T17:29:00.000-06:00

ok. this counts as a trial run. an unofficial posting if you will. hopefully the posts, well, the "official" ones to follow this are more appealing to you than this one...yeah. tada!

my sister:SHES ON BLOGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!